TV: Tsunami the Aftermath

I watched Tsunami the Aftermath on TV last night. I didnt want to but felt compelled to. It was a dramatized version of the events which took place almost two years ago. The programme wasn't desperately good but it reminded me of the vivid TV images of the dead lined up and awaiting identification, the reports of parents who simply couldnt hold on to their children lost to the wave, of thousands of photos of happy smiling people missing injured or dead, the scenes of devastation and of home videos of the tsunami as it surged in wiping out tiny figures on the beach.
How lucky I am to be able to confine such images to the recesses of my mind, only to be recalled from time to time. How lucky I am not to have to live with such loss on a day to day basis. How lucky I am not to have been celebrating christmas on a beach two years ago. How lucky I am to have my husband and children safe, to be buying christmas presents for my babies and to be looking forward to seeing their faces on Christmas morning. My heart goes out to everyone who lost a loved one to the tsunami but particularly to those parents who lost their children and who now face the two year anniversary of that devastating day. I look at my girls this morning and I count my blessings a bit more, but I also wonder how to protect them from such an awful event happening again.

The time draws near the birth of Christ:
The moon is hid; the night is still;
The Christmas bells from hill to hill
Answer each other in the mist.

Four voices of four hamlets round,
From far and near, on mead and moor,
Swell out and fail, as if a door
Were shut between me and the sound:

Each voice four changes on the wind,
That now dilate, and now decrease,
Peace and goodwill, goodwill and peace,
Peace and goodwill, to all mankind.

This year I slept and woke with pain,
I almost wish'd no more to wake,
And that my hold on life would break
Before I heard those bells again:

But they my troubled spirit rule,
For they controll'd me when a boy;
They bring me sorrow touch'd with joy,
The merry merry bells of Yule.

(from In Memoriam, XXIX)

Scarlet & Phoebe: New Beds

Well last night was Phoebe & Scarlet's first night out of cots. During the day, Tim and I made up the beds and there was great excitement as they both jumped in and out all day and pulled the covers over their heads. Come bed time it wasn't too bad and despite a few tears from Phoebe they nodded off pretty well much as usual. During the night however, Tim got up to find Phoebe fast asleep on the floor with her bottom up in the air. He put her back to bed but the tears started and she was in bed with us from 3am - bouncing up and down and wanting to play. She finally nodded off at about 5am and we were both sooo grateful to Scarlet who laid in until 8:30am this morning giving Tim and I some much needed extra zzzzzzzz's. I took a sneaky couple of pics of the girls asleep in their beds to show you (Scarlet left / Phoebe right):

Lucinda Williams - C'mon

Here's a video clip of Lucinda Williams in concert. She's sooo cool!!!!

Rant: Tesco Carrier Bags

It's real commendable of Tesco to offer club card points to people who recylce their carrier bags. A great move which shows genuine concern for the environment - except, my online shop just turned up in 25 bags. 25 bags !!! In one bag there was a single tin of mushy peas.
After two weeks of this, I feel totally overwhelmed by carrier bags.

Thoughts on turning 40

I was laying in bed last night thinking about turning 40 next year and it occurred to me that Im kind of looking forward to being all grown up. If the average age a woman lives to is around 81, then I am very nearly almost half-way there. Here are a few reasons why I am looking forward to being 40:

• First and foremost, Im not dead. I have lost three friends prematurely in the last handful of years. Two of them would love to have made it to 40, Im pretty sure. So Im gonna celebrate on their behalf. Im lucky to be turning 40 so Im not gonna mizz over it.
• My 40 years have been happy and I am content to be the person I am at 40. I figured last night that if I was unfulfilled, then turning 40 might be a more difficult proposition. If Tim and I were still trying for children for instance, then it would probably be more difficult for me to enjoy turning 40. If I wasnt basically content, then I might be wondering at 40 if I was ever gonna be.
• It's just another year. In fact, its just another day, or another minute or nano-second. Why would I wanna fuss about that? Who invented time anyway? If years consisted of 730 days instead of 365 then I would only be 20 years old next year and my life expectency would only be 40 years. It's just a load of numbers and I dont really do them.
• Im not afraid of dying I just dont want to die young if I can avoid it. I want to live as many years as possible so Im gonna celebrate each year I do live. Besides, so many people have died before me and I firmly believe in an afterlife although what form it takes, I guess I will have to wait and find out.
• Tim is already 45 so Im always gonna be his younger wife. Ha ha ha.
• Melissa (big sis) is older than me :o)
• My cats will be lucky to make it to 18 years old.
• 40 is the new 30.
  
• I've got no choice.

Ramblings I know but hey, it's my blog.

Introducing: Rolo

As part of this blog, Im gonna introduce a family member every so often with pics. I'm starting off today with Rolo, aged 9.

Rolo is my fat black tom cat. He has a special place in my heart because he cuddles me every night. He's a bit of a dribbler and has a dicky ticker plus he sprays in places he shouldnt, but what the heck, he's defo my favourite cat. Yep, he is completely stupid and we often find him shut in cupboards. He spends most of the day asleep, eating or strutting his stuff up and down the street. He's always covered in scratches and has cost me a fortune at the vets in the last few years with heart scans and blood pressure medications. But still, he is part of the family and I wouldnt change him (except poss for the spraying bit). The girls and I love him!!!

Cats Sleep Anywhere
Cats sleep anywhere, any table, any chair.
Top of piano, window-ledge, in the middle, on the edge.
Open drawer, empty shoe, anybody's lap will do.
Fitted in a cardboard box, in the cupboard with your frocks.
Anywhere! They don't care! Cats sleep anywhere.

Eleanor Farjeon (1881 - 1965)

Poem: Twin Girls

TWINS

Two girls, perfect in every way
Two cries at the start of everyday
Two heads to kiss
Two faces to clean
Two angels to love
Two babies to wean

Two lovely toddlers
Two sets of joy
Two girls when I thought
I was having a boy
Double the laughter
Double the light
Double the time to say
Night night.

So don’t say to me
“Double the trouble”
Because it’s not, its double
The sparkle and double
The bliss.
Yes, it’s double the noise
and double the strife
but it’s so much more

It’s double the life

TV: Make Me a Supermodel

Yes, I know, it's pretty lowly viewing, but I have to confess to being pretty big on lowly viewing: Coronation Street, Eastenders, Im a Celebrity, Baby Baby, the lowlier the better really. Mindnumbing yes, but a bit of mindnumbing can be good therapy after a day chasing two manic 2 year olds around ToysRus.

Anyway, big final of Make Me a Supermodel last night and how pleased was I that Jen beat Marianne? VERY VERY VERY VERY pleased actually. One for Mrs average pear shape, big bum, thunder thighs I'd say. I went right off Marianne (too skinny and makes me feel wobbly) when she said that clothes only look good on "thin girls". Well excuse me you gaunt, stick insect thingy - I disagree with you and so too it seems does the voting public. Hurrah for the voting public.

As to the winner, Albert, I only have one word to say - PHWOAR

Be Good Tanyas Concert

I went to see the Be Good Tanyas last night at Basingstoke with Tim, my dad and Christine (my dad's wife). It was a very civilised event. Two glasses of red vino, a comfortable all seated venu, no argy bargy, and a couple of packets of sweeties. All very nice.

Kathryn Williams, supporting act, was also 'very nice' but I thought her material was a bit lightweight. One number which I thought was excellent - I think it was called Fat Men and Thin Girls - lifted the act which generally I found a bit treacly. Her best note was her final note and I thought, "now why couldnt we have had more of that".

The Be good Tanyas were good but overall I think they could have been better. Around 85% of their set was from their new album which I havent bought yet and I was disappointed not to hear more of their old tunes - particularly those off the Blue Horse album. Their sound is still as distinctive as ever and their voices very harmonious but I personally felt pretty disconnected from their material. I will just have to go out and buy the new album so that next time, I can sing along a bit :o)

Oh well, no more gigs for a while. Having said that Tim is learning to play Lucinda Williams on his guitar so we're gonna have a gig of our own on Saturday night with me on lead vocals - cats are gonna love that and dog will probably howl to the moon all evening but hey ho :o)

TV: A Child Against all Odds

I watched the BBC's A Child Against All Odds last night. It was subtitled 'Choosing Children' and dealt with the controversial issue of embryo selection to avoid genetic disease and for sex selection. The programme followed three couples; two who wanted to screen out genetic disorders and one who wanted to have a baby girl and therefore screen out male embryos.

The motives of the two couples who were screening out genetic disorders were unquestionable. I would do exactly the same myself in their circumstances. However, the couple who were screening to have a girl, I could have ranted at all night. They already had four gorgeous boys and should have counted their blessings. Instead she wanted to make her "little family complete" and to have "barbie dolls" rather than just racing cars in the house. Cruel as it sounds, I felt little sympathy for her when she got a BFN. She had no understanding of what it was to be infertile and was worlds apart from the typical couple who NEED IVF - couples like myself and Tim who craved a child (whatever sex) at whatever price to hold in our arms.

I am not against IVF and genetic screening. I do believe however that IVF should be used solely for those who genuinely need it due to infertility or to screen out genetic disorders. I also believe it should be more readily available on the NHS. I do not agree that it should be available to create babies to order; male, female, blue eyes, blond hair, above average intelligence, fat, thin - who knows where it could end.

(pictured above: my beautiful girls, Scarlet (left) and Phoebe (right) born following a single course of IVF)

My Gig List

Seeing Lucinda Williams this weekend has got me thinking about all the other amazing artists I have seen in concert. My memory has never been my strongest feature so now that I have started a blog, I thought I would try and write them all down roughly in the order I saw them with details of venue, where I can remember this. Here goes:

• First ever gig - The Euythmics - The Lyceum in London
• Alison Moyet or Yazoo (cant remember which or where I saw her)
  
• Southern Death Cult - The Lyceum - can't remember much cos v.drunk!
• Spear of Destiny - Hyde Park (I think)
• The Monochrome Set - somewhere in London
• The Meteors - Riverside Club, Surrey
• The Pogues (I think), Riverside Club, Surrey
• Del Amitri (Crawley & London Shepherd's Bush)
• Deacon Blue (Brighton)
• World Party - The Forum, London
• Paul Weller - Brixton & Royal Albert
• Lenny Kravitz - Brixton & Wembly Arena (Brixton was amazing)
• The Rolling Stones - Wembly Stadium (nearly got crushed here)
• U2 (Wembly Stadium)
  
• PJ Harvey (Wembly Stadium, supporting TRS)
• Guns & Roses (when they were good) - Milton Keynes Bowl - v.muddy / great day
• Joan Armatrading / David Gray /
• The Who - (Portsmouth Civic Hall & Wembly Arena)
• Cast - can't remember where but they were pretty good
• Lucinda Williams - 10 and 11 November included Bruce Springsteen appearance
• The Be Good Tanyas (next week at Basingstoke)
  

Dream gigs would include:

• Elvis
• The Doors
• Velvet Underground
• Tom Petty (top bloke, would love to see)
• The Smiths
• David Bowie (during Ziggy Startdust era)
• Blondie (just after Parallel Lines)

Lucinda Williams Concert

Great couple of days. Dad came and looked after the girls for us. First night ever that someone else has put them to bed for me. Bit scarey. Phoebe threw massive tantrum as I left. Felt really sorry for my dad but there was a defininte spring in my step as Tim and I went to see Lucinda Williams at Shepherd's Bush. Awesome concert. Particularly enjoyed Joy and Righteously as well as Come On. Bruce Springsteen came on stage for a couple of numbers which really lifted the crowd. Managed to get quite close to the front so our view was pretty good. The sound was massive and Lu was really cool. Had such a blinding time that we decided to try and get a couple of tickets for the Saturday night which our friends were going to. Another great gig!

If I could be reborn and come back as something else, it would defo be rock chick with a small but loyal group of roadies and a drop dead gorgeous lead guitarist. Man, what a life. Still, I think I will snuggle up on the sofa today with my duvet and the the girls and probably the dog too and chill out with a christmas movie if I can find one on Sky.

About Flakey

Age 39, live in Surrey, with a fab husband and two adorable twin daughters, Phoebe and Scarlet, age 2 born following IVF. Long career in marketing but now at home enjoying being a stay-at-home mummy whilst working freelance doing research and writing. 3 cats (Rolo, Wispa and Flakey) plus one mental cocker spaniel, Dillon.